I followed through!

So, I've been losing a bit of weight the last few months. It's fairly evident in my pictures, but even more so when I put on the clothing I was wearing in December. The problem is, that I have almost plateaued. I was losing about 2-3lbs every week. Then something strange happened. My period came ON SCHEDULE!! I actually had a period approximately 1 month after the previous period! And it only lasted 5 days instead of weeks. The bad thing was that I would weigh myself weekly and find a 1lb or no loss. Sooo....

I made up a plan to run as exercise. For me, running is the easiest of exercises. In high school, I was naturally good at it and I'm a very introverted person in real life. I can't shut off my brain. Therefore, running was a good choice for me. The other part of the plan was to eat a BALANCED diet. I'm not a fan of cutting anything out. I think a person can eat whatever they want if they scale back the amount and add other things to their meals. I also DO NOT like frozen or canned meals because they have low grade meat, lots of salt and sugar and they almost ALWAYS contain MSG. You don't have to be a chef to make delicious food that contains proper amounts of nutrients. You just have to think simple and cut out the additional embellishments that contain a lot of fats and sugars. But you don't even have to cut them out all together.

The problem with this idea in my mind is that I have so little control over my life at this point. No time to do anything, fast food, frozen crap, no time for exercise. But last night and this morning, something happened. First, when I was out at the grocery store, I wasn't taking shit from Daryll. I bought what I wanted and moved about the store without paying attention to his complaints.

Actually, we got in an argument and when I went into the gas station on the way back, he took off down the highway to make me think he was leaving me there. Sam must have been crying something terrible because he came back. I had already called my parents from the gas station and told them what was going on. They WERE going to come up to the gas station and take me to the trailer with the cops. Good thing he pulled up before i got off the phone.

Then as we were driving down the road he said something to me and I called what he did "abuse" and he said, "I did it because you slammed the door" (which was a lie; he did it because I told him I wished he would die already). So I got pissed off and screamed, "YOU DON'T FUCKING PUNISH ME! I'M NOT YOUR CHILD!" So he pulled off to the shoulder and told me to get out and I said, "Fuck you." And he said, "I'll wait here all night, then." I said, "I guess you fucking will, then." He got pissed off and drove us back to the trailer. I didn't care. He talked to my parents and didn't say another word to me all night. Went to bed.

I decided this morning to try the running thing. Because it's been a while, I thought I would test myself on 1/2 mile. I didn't think I would do it. I planned on getting out there about half an hour before sunrise for the cool temperature and low traffic. Guess what?! I DID IT!! I couldn't believe it myself! When I got about a quarter of the way in, I thought, "HOLY SHIT, DELLA! You're doing it! You're following through on something healthy!" And you know what else? 1/2 a mile isn't enough. I may rethink that tomorrow if my muscles feel like crap and just redo the 1/2 mile again. But it didn't kill me. The smoker that I am who has been overweight the last 6 years...the goal didn't swamp me. I ran the entire length and barely broke a sweat. It took me all of 5 minutes too. I did stretch and cool down too. I'm thinking about adding in some calesthetics too. Maybe some push-ups and sit-ups or 8 counts. It takes so little time too. I have already showered, sat down to a cup of coffee and wrote all of this.

There has been a change in me. The Della who used to live in this body has come home.